Old Lady Bath Mat
Alas, one of these things is not like the other. Today a fresh new shower curtain came into our lives. It's pretty funky, right? And what hath it wrought with all its springtime youthful vibes? Well, it has revealed the sad and painful truth that 'old lady bath mat' needs to go. Now, don't get me wrong. Old lady bath mat is not particularly old. She's in excellent shape, really. Definitely way younger than she looks. But, honestly, somebody at IKEA better have gotten fired over this choice of colour. I mean, we're talkin' dusty rose à la 1988 here. Why did we even get her in the first place? Smh. But wait. Let me tell you a story. We had 'old lady ottoman' before her. Arlene thought no one was going to want old lady ottoman. Thought we should just kick her to the curb. As a bit of a joke, *I* said, "let's put old lady ottoman up on Bunz and see what happens". The rest, as they say, is history. Old lady ottoman pretty much single-handedly destroyed the Internet that day. I saw it with my own eyes. There's Grumpy Cat, Michael Jackson eating popcorn, and that thing where Rick Astley pops up out of nowhere. And old lady ottoman is basically number four. I wouldn't have believed it but now someone out there is putting her feet up who had been searching for so, so long; she couldn't believe how fortunate she was to stumble across my capricious post! Well, old lady bath mat, here's your big chance. Make old lady ottoman proud by following in her footsteps. Be fluffy. Fly your freaky dusty pink old lady flag and be free. Pickup near Broadview and Danforth. ISO a bath mat worthy of our new shower curtain. We'd also take BTZ, or perhaps something from my ISO list. Dear God, someone help me!